Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Why does it take another person's loss to feel grateful?

You know I repeatedly remind my children how blessed we are. We have food to eat, a place to live and more things than we need or deserve. Somehow, we are never satisfied. Why is that? I know I have been known to want and want more. More stuff to hang on my walls, more clothes, anything on clearance and the list goes on. Yet, I struggle to keep the house full of these things clean, nothing is hanging on the walls cause I cannot seem to get the painting done and all the things it get on clearance are just cluttering my home.

My perspective has repeatedly been put in check when I read about the 100's of thousands losing jobs each month, people losing there homes and more and more I am learning about people I know and even the many I do not know that are facing health issues. In those moments of perspective I vow to live differently and more simply, to appreciate the little things in life like the laugh of a child and warmth of my spouse lying next to me and even the piles of laundry that I tackle each week. For a moment and sometimes only a brief moment, I really strive to do that. Then I leave the house (because I am bored and do not want to clean my house) to buy a new pair of shoes, a bunch of stuff on clearance that I do not need and make my way through the nearest drive through for a pop that is way over priced.

I stumbled across a blog tonight devoted to the life of Gracie. Gracie was born in March 2008 with a congenital heart defect and died March 2, 2009 just 18 days before her first birthday. This is not the first blog I have come across in the recent past with sad stories of families losing there infants. This one just hit me hard tonight. You see my baby girl is going to be 1 year old in just one month and I also have 3 older children just as Gracie's family does and I could not imagine what this family is going through. Tonight, while this family is still very much grieving Gracie, I was able to feed my baby girl her pureed sweet potatoes and turkey, sit with her in her room while I put her cute, sweet smelling and mostly pink clothes away, give her a bath and put her pj's on, read her bedtime stories and nurse her as I smelled her sweet baby scented hair.

I sit here tonight, with once again a new perspective but this time really pondering what I will do with it. Will I grumble during the night when the baby just wants her mama, will I make the time when my 7 year old asks me to read with her, will I sit at the computer when my husband comes home from a long day at work instead of greeting him?

Why does it take another person's loss for me to feel grateful?

1 comment:

  1. I know... I know. Such things are on my mind daily- I think about it so much. Especially when you are seeing it happen more and more it seems in the blog world. It breaks my heart. I wonder why it has to happen, and I hold onto mine more.