Monday, May 18, 2009
What do I want to be when I grow up?
I still wonder what am I going to be when I grow up. Sounds silly to say when I am nearly 35 (yes I did share my age, don't really have a problem with it). I remember thinking I knew what I wanted to do when I was in high school. I was going to be an attorney. I had been working in a Law Firm during my Senior year in high school and was fascinated. I headed off to Carthage College in Kenosha, WI to pursue that dream. I was excited to be on my own but sad to leave my high school sweetheart behind. I remember I had it all planned. I would major in Political Science and minor in Sociology with the emphasis pre-law. As exciting as heading off to college was to me, I was completely terrified that I would be a loner. I had friends in high school, many actually but often felt like a tag along in some groups. I was determined to make friends with my dorm roommate as well as others...well I did exactly that and no homework. I had been there 3 weeks and was nearly 2 weeks behind in reading and no where near prepared to write the 2 papers that were due soon. So I told my parents I wanted to come home. I also missed Greg very much. So my dad and Greg drove the 6.5 hours to come and pick me and all my things up. Once back in MN I vowed to attend the local community college in January. I did just that with the intent of taking their 2 yr Paralegal track and still work in the legal field. I wasn't off to a good start. I would rather spend time with Greg, who was also attending that school, and I rarely did homework...especially the reading. The result I did poorly on exams and ended up on academic probation. I had to go through some study skills coursework (which I think was not all that bad) and some personality type testing which revealed a list of a few likely career paths, some made sense and one I would hear nothing of the sort at that time. I basically started over. Had to re do a couple courses and work my tail off. At one time I was taking 17 credits and working just about 40 hours a week. At this point I was no longer pursuing the paralegal degree, I think I chose it because I was familiar with it but it really wasn't what I was passionate about. My grades improved. I had done really well and was removed from academic probation. I needed to take some time off to make final wedding plans. Greg and I married and about 8 months later I transferred to a 4 year private college with the intent to get into social work. I was going there half time and completed my first trimester and had begun 2nd trimester classes when I found out I was pregnant. I was so sick and tired that I just knew I could not continue at that time. I have always wanted to go back. It is hard sometimes when your friends all have degrees and you don't, I am still not sure what I want to be. I do believe that I am right where God wants me to be right now. At home with my family. And I am sure He will show me where I am supposed to be in the future. I think He has already given a few clues, maybe even 15 years ago in that list of career paths that the personality test revealed. For right now, I will embrace where I am and just "be" while being molded for what is to come.
Posted by Jen