Dearest Abigail Eden,
I prayed for you before you were even growing inside me. Although I had no idea your time would be so short, mommy knew she had so much to tell you and do for you. Your daddy was so excited. The look on his face when I told him you were growing inside me was priceless. He was in love. Daddy and I loved having our little secret until it was the right time to share you with everyone else. I remember telling you all about your brothers and sisters. How excited they were to meet you. I shared Jesus with you and continued to pray for you, praying life over you each and everyday, sometimes every minute. My ever growing belly, the constant nausea, your beating heart we saw on the ultrasound and the flutters I know I felt were continued reminders of your life inside me, life which had been ordained by God.
You’ve taught me so much already. Even when I was feeling so weak, the Lord used you to make me so brave to do things in the last eight weeks I could have never had the strength to do. Walking in this valley has reminded me just how much I need Jesus!
You may have never breathed the air on this earth, cried a tear or nursed from my breast as I had prayed for. But my prayers for your life were answered. You have life, sweet Abigail, everlasting life with Jesus. Through my tears and my still heavy, aching heart I do have joy because of that promise and it grows ever so slightly each day as I choose to believe and trust despite my sorrow that God is good. He makes all things new and He has made you perfect in Heaven. I praise Him for choosing me to carry you even if it was into His arms.
I hope you know how loved you are, so very loved.
June 12, 2010