Friday, January 28, 2011

Raising my White Flag

As 2010 came to a close, resolutions seemed so insignificant to me. I certainly could use some better habits...but I knew there was something more. A word to define the coming year...

Soon, I realized I was trying to hold the wheel once again...a word for me...I was trying to steer my plans for the next 365 days.

Several days, even a couple weeks past and each time I pondered this it became clearer...He and I had the same word but it was to be defined by Him, only Him.


....control of that which I could never really control anyway.

....desire to have all the answers, even still.

....anger that only recently emerged
which grew quickly taking the smoldering loss,
spreading it like wildfire. cluttered mind...I need space to really live again. the rain
letting Him wash away the incomprehensible.
{Rain by Sara Groves}

....all the holes in my heart, my soul
allowing them to be lenses to see what
I could not see with my own eyes

Most of all surrender
to the fallen, broken, ugly pieces
taking all that He gives
going wherever He leads

Can I live with that? How can I not?

Surrendered, I Stand

So I'll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all
I'll stand
My soul Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours
{The Stand, Hillsong United}


  1. Submitting to the One who is in control of all things... this has been on my heart. I LOVE your post! and the songs you chose. beautiful thoughts!

  2. I can't do this! I am such a control freak and while I know the things I seek to control the most are things that are completely out of my control I still try. I wish I could just give it to Him and I know he'd gladly take it. I just don't have the courage.

  3. Oh I could write this, I need to remember this. I have such a hard time remembering to surrender the control until I am reminded (usually painfully) that I am not in control.