Friday, April 13, 2012

Good-Bye

I remember our good-bye like is was yesterday.  These past 2 years have been a blur.  I don't even know how I got from there to here. It doesn't seem possible.

That night, even though it was good-bye holds treasured memories. Remembering and feeling helps you feel closer. We may not be joined like then. You to my womb; but you are still very much a part of me.

I am okay.  I still don't always feel like I have my bearings back...since I said good-bye. But, I am living and loving, laughing and breathing and I am okay. I still don't think I have cooked more than 2 months worth of meals in these 2 years...it is still hard to stand in the kitchen some days...but we eat.

Today was coming, I could feel it weeks ago...I tried to tell myself it was just a day. But it wasn't just a day, it was the day that I birthed you from my body and I had to say good-bye.

Sometimes I dream of the old me and that I am her and you are here but...


I'll never get to hold you
I'll never hear your sweet voice sing
I'll never get to say 'I told you so"
I'll never read to you or teach you anything
...I only wish for one more day

Yet I know, good-bye really means until we meet again and I imagine you are singing up there with the angels and oh how that is sweet music to my ears.

Happy 2nd  Birthday in Heaven Abigail Eden!





1 comment:

  1. This is so raw and honest. I'm sorry for your loss, that you never got to hold your angel. Someday.

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