Monday, October 01, 2012

31 Days of Finding My Way Home Again: Day 1-Intro


I haven't talked about this here yet.

I am back home full time. I had been home for more than a decade, other than a few part time gigs, until just over two years ago when I took essentially, a full time position.  It was a perfect fit for our large, busy family.

But I felt the nudging months ago, to be back home. I pondered the idea.

My husband and I talked about it periodically, but knew it was not an easy decision. There were many implications to a decision such as this.

I sat still in it. Committed it to prayer as it nestled deep in my heart.

I had odd longings.  Just a little extra time to cook a real meal, scrub toilets and showers and to have an actual laundry day. That is odd isn't it. Especially when I was home before I couldn't see the other side of the laundry pile. Now here I was wanting to jump in it and find joy.

I was watching my children ages 4-14 (almost 15...hold me) leaping through each day without me it seemed...but needing me just the same. I was exhausted, our home was a frazzled mess and it was the last place I wanted to be.

I felt guilty for what our home life had become. I felt guilty for considering giving up a job when so many were without one.

Then I ventured off on a solo road trip this summer.  Lot's of alone time. I had some much needed me time with some lovely new friends.

I returned home into the arms of my family and I just knew. I waited until later the next day to talk to my husband again. I just looked at him and said "I have to quit my job."  Then like grace filling the room he said "okay". What?

I am sure it wasn't the trip itself, but rather the time removed from the situation and plenty of quiet to process my thoughts, to pray and to listen. Finding where my heart was.

So here I am, my first week in my new {again} place. Finding where I fit. Finding my way back through all things domestic, wifery and mothering. I have been all those things, all this time; but it is different for many reasons.

I'll be writing this month "31 days of finding my way home again".  Finding my way through what, honestly, feels a bit unfamiliar. To have taken this leap, trusting and hanging on for dear life. To do this differently than before, but letting Him lead and honestly writing for 31 days straight is eerily unfamiliar.

I hope to find a groove that blesses my family and others, but also gives me much needed time with Him. Come along for the ride, won't you?

There are lots of others writing for 31 Days straight.  Visit The Nester for many more 31 Days of... She started this and as of tonight there are 900+ participating in the 31 Days writing challenge.

May you be blessed and encouraged.

2 comments:

  1. I'm proud of you for listening, for reaching deep within, and for pursuing your heart. May this new season bring you even closer to an eternal home that rests right here in love. Love ya, my friend!

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