Wednesday, October 03, 2012

Day 3: My Wish List

If I am being honest about this journey there are many things I have planned out already.  A running list of sorts, with an expectation that I can do them and perfect them in a day, a week or a month depending on the goal.

It has been a long time since I have had a regular cleaning schedule, meals planned, a specific laundry day or worked on something creative other than a bit of writing here and there.

I have a long wish list of who I want to be in this place, our home..some of it boarders on super-crunchy to really exposing my inner hippy and let's raise chickens in our backyard in the suburbs. Purging our home of all the stuff we really don't need and trying to convert my recipes to oat flour and coconut milk instead of wheat and dairy. Oh and I still want that RV.

Of course I want to teach my kids responsibility but honestly I want to take care of them too...I want to be that mom who makes their beds, puts away clothes, prepares their lunch for school each morning and has homemade cookies on the table after school. And then the wife who irons her husbands work clothes, packs him a lunch that doesn't come from the freezer or a can, even takes out the trash.

But the truth is that in this house we really do...let the trash over flow, leave wet towels on the floor, leave paper piles, have mom's who don't always read the notes from school, we fluff a load of laundry 5 times before folding and have to rewash the towels that sit wet in the washer for two days, let preschoolers watch tv more than they should because I need to google how get rid of stinky teenage boy feet.

Mostly, I want to do what's best for all of them. I certainly don't have a routine and it may never truly be a routine...and that is okay.

That's how this began, because I felt my heart was longing to be here even if it meant getting my hands dirty, helping with homework, cooking all day, making beds, scrubbing toilets and falling down in exhaustion at the end of the day. It won't always be easy, but knowing I was present in it all, finding God in all those places.  Even doing laundry for Jesus. That is at the top of my wish list.

“Do not disdain the small. The whole of life – even the hard – is made up of the minute parts, and if I miss the infinitesimals, I miss the whole … There is a way to live the big of giving thanks in all things.  It is this: to give thanks in this one small thing.  The moments add up.”
from One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp

I am writing for 31 Days of Finding My Way Home Again as part of The Nester's  31 Days writing challenge.

Read all my 31 Days posts here

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