Monday, October 08, 2012

Day 7 and 8: Less of Me, More of You

I just did not have an any extra time to write Sunday so today is doing double duty, but that's okay because this has been on my heart and mind at least since yesterday anyway...really for a long time.

When I wasn't home as much, I did not always notice. I needed to be home long enough to feel it.

This sinking feeling of excess. Then I would leave again and I pay no mind to it.

I look around my home and realize so much of the stuff I have, never gets used.

Now that I am home more, am I actually using the above mentioned "stuff"?


If anything it is even more asphyxiating.  I could go on and on about how we have too many sets of sheets, board games, video games, food, dishes and books I don't read or how just today I realized I had more clothes that were hanging on the line in the basement, that I haven't missed...but I have done that before.

How many moments have been choked out by all this stuff?

When I am preoccupied with treasures, my face plastered into my laptop or phone and even the time spent constantly tidying this stuff.  Where is the home, the harmony in that?

Isn't that what we long for in a home? 

I am not saying stuff doesn't have its purpose and a grateful and generous heart cannot have stuff. But I find myself justifying the excess because I give and do good and right things most of the time.

I wake each morning and I reach for my phone, look at an email devotion and some days it speaks to me and I linger longer, reflect and pray and other days, honestly, I skim quickly, check it off the list and move on to Facebook.

What if there wasn't an app for that? What if our fingers had to touch the delicate pages of the Word? What if that was the only way.  What if I spent more time breaking the binding on that Bible I have had for years instead of draining the battery on my smart phone I will upgrade next spring...following a reading plan, trying to get it all in and put it back in the "I am a good Christian box". I did not know I had one of those, but yep, I do.

What if I just followed Him?

I don't know if these thoughts are right or wrong...but they have tugged at me long and hard.

It may be a book or a sermon of somebody else's words or a movement of sorts, that ignites a fire...but like a controlled burn, it can make way for new growth.

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
Point out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life
Psalm 139: 23-24  

I am writing for 31 Days of Finding My Way Home Again and Home is a lot of part of The Nester's  31 Days writing challenge.

Read all my 31 Days posts here

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